The classic American Dream has long been to get married, buy a house, and have kids. But one management guru says we have the wrong mindset about the milestones we covet in life.
Sinek, 51, detailed how he’s been judged for not being in a serious romantic relationship. He said he’s been on dates and been asked whether he’s ever been married—and when he responds that he hasn’t, and that the longest relationship he’s ever been in was three years long, he’s often been asked: “What’s wrong with you?”
That’s “the stress that I’ve carried for decades,” Sinek said on the podcast. “I believed my own narrative that I am a failure and I am bad at relationships and people like you have commitment issues. Like they all diagnosed me. And it didn’t sound right because I don’t think I do.”
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Sinek said during the past few years he’s started to realize he had the wrong narrative about himself, and gave the example of a friend of his who was in a 16-year unhealthy relationship. He said she “admits freely” the relationship should’ve just been one year.
But “society looks at her and says, ‘she did it right. I did it wrong,’” Sinek said. “‘There’s something wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with her, because there’s something flawed in you.’”
Despite experiencing bouts of self-doubt in the past, Sinek said he’s realized he’s a “very happy person” despite his lack of romantic relationships.
“I have great friends,” he said.
But still, the pressure for marriage remains.
There’s “entire economies on how to find it, nurse it, get it, make it,” Sinek said. “And yet there’s so little on friendship.”
