Duckett was waiting for the last bus of the day at Port Authority, watching as stragglers headed to the casino and the janitor cleaned up for the night, when the pressure hit a breaking point.
In tears, she called her husband to vent about never seeing her kids before or after work. And her husband—a stay-at-home father, marine, and engineer—delivered a perspective-shifting response: “then quit.”
He reasoned with her that if her current situation wasn’t working for her, then it wouldn’t work for the family either. And thanks to his bluntness, something clicked.
That realization has impacted how she’s moved throughout her career since. After letting go of the fight for work-life balance, her success only continued to grow; in 2021 she was tapped to be the CEO of a Fortune 100 company, retirement planning giant TIAA.
“This diversified portfolio shift—because I am in finance—changed everything,” Duckett said on the Fortune podcast. “If you live your life like a diversified portfolio, you tell yourself the truth. You only have 100%, you do not have 110%. The other truth is that you allocate to the things that define who you are.”
Duckett makes sure to allocate energy to the relationships and responsibilities that matter most.
As a philanthropist, mother, sister, aunt, wife, and executive, she is constantly pulled in different directions. Now, she recognizes that splitting up her time also means no one gets to have all of her.
The 52-year-old leader says even her children don’t receive 100%—realistically, they can only get 30% after subtracting sleep, work, and school from their schedules. And instead of feeling guilty about not being able to invest more time with them, Duckett accepts her limitations and says it even allows her to show up more intentionally.
“By recognizing that they only have 30%, I’m a more present mother by living my life like a diversified portfolio, just like market volatility,” Duckett continued. “Life will life, and you will have life volatility.”
Living by that mindset has also made her a better daughter and sister, the TIAA chief said. And that’s because she’s no longer burdened by the anxiety of having to give 100% to everyone all the time. Everything that matters to her is still in her portfolio—just now, she allows her time and attention to sway in response to market or life conditions.
“I give myself a ton of grace,” Duckett said. “If you live your life like a diversified portfolio instead of trying to reconcile work and life, you will outperform this thing called life.”
