Relationships are hard. They require vulnerability and a high tolerance for the friction associated with navigating what you want while mediating the needs of someone else. But for Gen Z, those early romantic trials—and the social calluses they build—are increasingly absent.
Without those tough conversations and negotiations, Gen Z is showing up to their first day of work unprepared to face the challenges of the office, according to Tessa West, a professor of psychology at New York University whose research focuses on communication between employees and bosses.
“What seemed like an obvious norm before, how to talk to the boss, what time you need to show up,” she told Fortune, “this younger generation doesn’t have ground rules for.”
While there are other factors involved, West said her research found there’s a direct link between the decline in romantic relationships and workplace performance.
“Those skills, like the ability for people to actually do those well in their relationship, directly predicts how good you are at them at work,” she said.
West, who authored the book Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You, said there’s an array of factors impacting Gen Z’s social abilities in the workforce. For one, they’ve grown up in an era where online communication has become the norm, crowding out in-person socialization.
All of this is causing issues for Gen Z when it comes to some of the most fundamental tasks associated with the workplace, according to West. For example, it affects how young workers ask a boss for a raise or request PTO.
“You learn a lot of skills in those early relationships that you then leverage in the workplace,” she said. “Negotiation is a huge one, and so is compromise.”
She said relationship-building—typically the romantic kind but also platonic ones—helps people develop other critical skills, such as handling uncomfortable conversations, managing anxiety, and navigating difficult social dynamics.
“It’s the close relationship and the difficulty that comes along with developing a new relationship with someone where you have to navigate all kinds of potential discomfort,” she said.
This often shows up in the office as a lack of clear communication. Gen Zers may opt to email their boss than to have face-to-face interactions about challenges, according to West.
“Older generations get very frustrated by that behavior and then they maybe lash out a bit at it,” West said. “It ends up exacerbating this problem.”
The communication lapses and other antisocial workplace behaviors are issues that both older and younger workers need to address, according to West. She suggests that bridging the gap requires a mutual reset where bosses make implicit office norms explicitly clear to younger workers.
“Both sides need to move,” she said. “The older generation needs to work on that clear communication and that reset, and the younger generation needs to work on the willingness to learn.”
